I was tearfully confiding in one of my wisest friends once, and I can remember saying to her in a moment of weakness, "I just hate that I love him so much" and she answered, so simply but so significantly, "Do you think you could find a way to love it?" While it didn't change everything in that moment, it really did change everything afterward, her words lingering in my ears for months, haunting me beautifully for ever after. So here we are, and it's Valentines Day, and I'm single. This could be bad, but it's not going to be. Instead, I'm going to find a way to love it. In fact, I happen to love Valentines Day, and I'm determined to have one of the love-liest Valentines Days ever, even if I don't have a Valentine, exactly. How do I propose to do this? Well, first grade was one of my favorite years of my whole life (I'm turning 23 in 3 days). I fell in love when I was in first grade...not with a boy, but with writing. I had the most wonderful teacher in the world, who let me be by myself sometimes during 'free time', and would set a book on the table in front of me, full of construction paper pictures of knights, rainbows, princesses, clouds, mountains, etc...and tell me to write whatever came to mind. That's how my love affair with writing began, and it's never really stopped since. Anyway, one of the other things I remember distinctly about Ms. Mathes's vibrant classroom was the making and distribution of Valentines for our friends. Long before there were boyfriends or girlfriends, or husbands or wives, or babies, there were just friends. And there was so much love, even then. I'm not seven years old, but I am going to celebrate today with the same kind of love I did back then. Because, while I'm not in love with anyone who is in love with me in return, I love so many people in my life! And, when I think about it, it's such a gift to have that...So, today is, in part, going to be a gigantic love fest, and if you're reading this then you are quite likely among those that I am so grateful to call the loves of my life. Happy Valentines Day, dear ones!
The rest of my Valentines Day love fest relates to something a bit different, and yet entirely related - the relationship I'm finding myself strengthening every day with the God I lost sight of for a very long time...This week we had a breakthrough, He and I, and I felt the most direct communication I've ever experienced. It's a long story that I might tell later on in another post, but for now suffice it to say that it was profound, and thrilling, and it left me somewhat breathless and assured that I am on the right path. My problem is that I don't think I feel ready to feel loved by God yet. (Ya, that's sort of like a LOTR/ Bilbo "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve" moment, but this blog is titled "Not All Who Wander Are Lost" so I have to be allowed to dorkily reference its namesake/ Tolkien every now and then). I don't feel worthy of God, but I'm healing, and I think every day I'm able to find myself inching closer to the kind of relationship I am meant to have. I'm beginning to realize that it's happening as I am becoming a better woman, while I'm becoming the kind of person that could healthily support not only her admittedly high-maintenance, unquenchably adventurous self, but someone else as well. For now, I get to test my theory with the friends around me, and it's wonderful. I won the award for 'class caregiver' when I was a three-year old in nursery school, and I hope it was telling. I love taking care of people, I love making people feel better, I love wasting entire days with them, baking them cookies, and talking for hours while we sip tea. More than that I hate seeing people hurting. But after experiencing severe trauma and hurt myself I think I needed to take time to make myself better, and I needed to let God back into my life; really I needed to find the courage to ask Him to let me back in to His. What I'm discovering through this process has been surprising to me, but it's that I can actually feel Him forgiving me too, letting me back in, little by little. Almost like we're both looking to the other cautiously, carefully. This time is different, knowing how fragile our relationship is after I accidentally, somewhat unknowingly let it break and lie in shards for a while, waiting to be pieced back together. What a breathtaking reality it is, though, that those shards can be reforged and made stronger than before, and what better day to smile about and celebrate this strengthening relationship than Valentines Day?
In [sort of] conclusion, today is about loving love.
In [sort of] conclusion, today is about loving love.
Now, on an altogether different note, while I was unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep I made a list of some of my favorite love scenes in movies ever, and I have good taste in these things so you should probably do everything you can to seek out each one and indulge in their loveliness. In no particular order, here they are : )
The Village- Ok, yes, this is a scary movie, and would probably not top off most people's lists of romantic films, but it also has what I think are two of the most utterly romantic love scenes of all time. The porch scene just can not be beaten. I don't know if it's because I relate so much to the Ivy character, but I swear I will not rest until a Joaquin Phoenix decides to love me like this. Whatever you do, at least treat yourself to watching the last couple of minutes of the second video-the "I will dance with you on our wedding day" scene:
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring- The 'Aniron' scene...Aniron means 'desire' in Elvish. Enya's song in the background, plus Peter Jackson's Rivendell, plus Liv Tyler, plus Viggo Mortensen, plus a painful, exquisite [exquisitely painful] love story...it goes without saying, but this is indisputably amongst the most beautiful love scenes of ever. Watch Here: Rivendell Scene
Love, Actually- I sat talking about this film with all of the girls that live in my flat, and we basically concluded that this movie is overflowing with wonderful lovey dovey moments, but I have one favorite quote and one favorite scene. Quote: Colin Firth gets it with "I love you, even when you're sick and look disgusting." Scene: The card/secret admirer confession scene. Nothing compares:
Under the Tuscan Sun-
There are a few great love scenes in this movie. One of my favorites is a friendship/heartbreak scene in which I fell in love with the actress Sandra Oh, when she shows up pregnant and broken hearted on Diane Lane (Francis)'s doorstep in Tuscany. The scene is exquisitely acted. Eventually when she has her baby there is a gorgeous moment when she's dancing outside with her baby girl, and that image is also pretty perfect and amazing. But what takes the cake (no pun intended) for me is the wedding scene at the end. Spoiler alert: It's not Francis's wedding, as we might've hoped all the way through the film, but Christophe Beck's score feat. a boy soprano singing the track 'Gaudeamus', along with the cinematography, Latin (Italian?) wedding vows, and Diane Lane's happy tears make this pretty much my dream wedding. Sorry, I couldn't find a clip. Oh well, now you'll HAVE to go get this movie and watch it!
Edward Scissorhands- Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder. I'm sure his wife is amazing and everything, but in a perfect world they would have stayed together forever. Because they are magic on screen. And so are the scenes that are mashed up here...namely the hug scene and the snow dance scene. Ahhhhh, tragedyyyyyyy! Hurts soooo good.
Never Been Kissed- The first kiss in Never Been Kissed is good, but this honestly makes the cut simply because Sam (Michael Vartan) looks so unbelievably hot when he runs to her, and no girl in their right mind could see this and not hope that a man would run to her like that one day lol. The other wonderful moment of this movie is Guy dancing with the dorky best friend. So sweet.
When Harry Met Sally- the Katz's deli orgasm scene is hilarious, and rightfully the most famous part of this film about two best friends, but the New Years party love confession is, quite simply, perfectly worth the wait of the whole movie.
Pride and Prejudice (2005)- My allegiance used to lie with the Colin Firth version, but this reduced and yet wonderfully complete version of this amazing book is so well done, and caters to the hopeless romantic in me. And this final love scene is just...sooooo good! Oh, Darcy! Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy...
Slumdog Millionaire- brutal to watch, incredible to watch, impossible not to watch. Such an intense film, and such a gorgeous love story about resilience. There isn't just one great love scene. Instead every scene with Jamal and Latika becomes powerful. It's such an amazing puzzle, and all of the pieces of Jamal and Latika's story fit together in the end to make the final 'Jai Ho' Bollywood finale unbelievably powerful.
The Notebook- Long lost loves, a boat, rain, a dock...yep.
The Wedding Singer- Growing old with someone...and Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore with the win.
Titanic- when Rose runs back to Jack after they're separated. Leo's squeaky voice works so well here...
Jack: "Rose! You're so stupid.
Why did you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?
Rose: You jump, I jump, right?
Jack: Right.
Rose: Oh God! I couldn't go. I couldn't go, Jack.
Jack: It's all right. We'll think of something.
Rose: At least I'm with you.
Jack: We'll think of something. "
Rose: You jump, I jump, right?
Jack: Right.
Rose: Oh God! I couldn't go. I couldn't go, Jack.
Jack: It's all right. We'll think of something.
Rose: At least I'm with you.
Jack: We'll think of something. "
Finding Neverland- maybe I just love Kate Winslet and find her to embody romance, but this movie is so beautiful, without us ever seeing her and Johnny Depp's J.M.Barrie character actually consummate their love. The death/Neverland scene is so romantic, though, in its own way, because he's made it possible for her imaginative release.
My Best Friend's Wedding- Probably not what you'd think it is. I happen to hate the ending of this movie, though I love the movie as a whole. I would've much preferred the "best friend ends up with best friend" scenario, and I think this scene justifies my sensitivity:
Ever After- When Danielle shows up at the ball and we see her in her da Vinci wings, dead mother's gown, and glass slippers, there's just no way to resist falling in love with her right along with Prince Henry. This moment is amazing, but the scene that really gets my praise is much earlier in the movie, when she brings home her servant, Maurice, and his wife and their best friend (another servant) go running to him and Danielle as they come walking up through a field. I have tested myself for years...I get chills every time I watch this scene. I'm yet to watch it without getting them all up and down my arms, without getting choked up in an incredible way. Couldn't find a link but you really should seek this one out sometime, for this scene alone, and to giggle at Drew's bad British accent in the context of a supposedly French setting. Still, such an intelligent chick flick/un-fairy tale when it comes down to it.10 Things I Hate About You- oh, Heath. Oh, Poetry. Oh, Love!
500 Days of Summer- the Ikea scene. holy crap. I want to fall in love and do this someday. Or maybe just do this with an amazing friend. Either way, it's on my bucket list. The clip doesn't show it well - just captures the end - but it gives the idea.
The Wedding Planner- the dance scene in the park. it's great. and cute. and dreamy.
Hook- when Tink makes her wish to be big so she can be with Peter for a few moments in time. And then, at the end, Tink's goodbye "you know that place between sleep and awake? That's where you'll always find me, Peter Pan, that's where I'll be waiting" sigh... love her.
Avatar- the whole thing. every bit of it.
Forrest Gump- Forrest and Jenny, an incomparable love story.
...and Tom Hanks strikes again, this time with Helen Hunt, in
Castaway- "You're the love of my life" oh, it kills me.
Castaway- "You're the love of my life" oh, it kills me.
Little Women- unrequited love...the Laurie/Jo story...personally, as with my best friend's wedding, I am of the Jo and Laurie should be together camp, but, alas, Louisa May Alcott disagrees with me. So, the Mr. Bhaer camp gets their wonderfully romantic ending:
Waitress- best love quotes from a (dark) comedy ever? Possibly. Plus, Nathan Fillion is just a dreamboat/the perfect man, playing an only slightly imperfect man:
"Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight.They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness to it."
Princess Bride-"As you wish..." 'nuff said. Carry Elwes made the name 'Wesley' sexy forever.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- Kate Winslet once again, and Jim Carrey. What a team. Meet me in Montauk. *sigh...A story about losing your way and then trying to find each other again. Also notable, the inclusion of the first role I ever enjoyed Kirsten Dunst in, alongside a wonderfully slimy performance by my beloved Elijah Wood.
Beauty and the Beast- I mean, you have to admit, the Beast is pretty handsome in man form...those eyes! and the way he says her name!
Others on my worth mentioning list:
Shine, Penelope, Sleepless in Seattle, Bed of Roses, Monsoon Wedding
Shine, Penelope, Sleepless in Seattle, Bed of Roses, Monsoon Wedding
Happy Valentines Day!
i want you to know i cried watching the beauty and the beast scene...talk about a finale! amen! and what a nice parallel to your bit about you and God...kinda like we're the beast and once we come to the end of ourselves God makes us new and gives us a new heart that's healed and whole..neon colored rain drops and everything! :) love reading and keeping up with you, love your love of writing too!
ReplyDeleteThree years ago I finally got around to writing a thank you note. It was to my high school English teacher, who was simply superb. He was tough, unyielding and assigned both The Iliad and then The Odyssey overnight. He taught us to read and question, think and reflect. We were parsed within an inch of our lives, but I can still define a dangling participle these many years later. He taught me how to write, and write well. Research papers were his stock-in-trade, and we wrote them by the dozens; Harvard outline and all. The New York Times was required reading every night. We read all of Dickens, and then all of Shakespeare. I hated Shakespeare, but I learned how to read books that I didn't like. So three years ago I searched around, found his address, and wrote him a thank you note. My high school had 8,000 kids. No, that's not a typo. There really were 2,000 kids just in my grade. I graduated a long time ago, and I'm sure he didn't remember me, but it doesn't matter. The thank you note was about him, and how he made a difference in my life. I got back a lovely letter, saying that I would not understand how much that letter meant to him until I got such a letter from one of my own students. Well – now I understand. And I hope I touched his heart as much as this letter touched mine. Nia, my wish for you is that someday you get a letter like this. I can't thank you enough.
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